ENFP + ENTJ relationships, compatibility, dating

Even though these two personality types have lots of differences, the ENTJ – ENFP match is in theory close to ideal. In this article I will try to explain why.

ENTJs often have trouble connecting with people on an emotional level because they are not naturally in tune with other people’s feelings. They are too independent to get tied up into anyone’s emotional games. There aren’t many people ENTJs will completely open up to but ENFPs are one of the types that have the best chance of bringing the ENTJ out of its emotional shell.

How do they do it?

Many ENFPs believe they can do anything they set their mind to but for the purpose of this article let’s try to view it through MBTI theory and cognitive processes. This part might be a little boring or complicated but bare with me.

ENTJs and ENFPs are both intuitive personalities and share the same judging functions: extroverted thinking (Te) and introverted feeling (Fi) - (ENTJ: Te Ni Se Fi, ENFP: Ne Fi Te Si). Even though these functions are in different priorities (ie. dominant Te for ENTJ and tertiary Te for ENFP) this will still in most cases make these personalities think they’re on “the same side”.

They will be surprised by how easily they can agree on lots of different matters. The ENTJ will know the ENFP is better with feelings and the ENFP will know the ENTJ is the objective, realistic one in the relationship. Both types have a lot to learn from each other and can become more balanced together. Even though the ENTJs introverted feeling is their inferior function, they still understand it a lot more than extroverted feeling; that’s why it should be easier for an ENTJ to get along with an ENFP then with an ENFJ who has dominant extroverted feeling.

What ENFPs like about ENTJs:

- intellectually stimulating
- usually very competent and smart
- reliable and responsible
- open to new ideas
- good with money (ENFPs usually aren’t)

What ENTJs like about ENFPs:

- provide inspiration and motivation
- fun to be with
- open to new ideas and experiences
- usually loyal and dedicated
- very supportive

As you see, there are benefits for both sides in this relationship and the strengths of one type can compensate for the shortcomings of the other.

Possible pitfalls:

- ENTJ being too critical and inconsiderate of feelings
- ENFP being too sensitive to criticism
- ENFP being smothering
- ENTJ’s high standards becoming too big of a burden on the ENFP
- ENFP not being honest enough (misunderstandings can happen when they agree just for the sake of harmony and don't confront the underlying problem)

Most of the other weaknesses of each type are compensated for by the strengths of the other type. These include:

ENTJ:

- Not very good at tactfulness and expressing feelings (ENFPs can help them tremendously with that)
- Usually not very spontaneous (ENFPs are naturally spontaneous)

ENFP:

- Their enthusiasm may lead them to be unrealistic (ENTJs find their enthusiasm cute and energizing but they will usually be the more objective one in the relationship)
- Not very good with money, give too much away (ENTJs are extremely good with money)
- Have difficulty scolding or punishing others (can be left for the ENTJ to do, because they don’t have trouble doling out discipline – for example, with kids)

In conclusion:

This relationship is usually effortless and these two personality types are compatible. That of course doesn’t mean all ENTJs and ENFPs will automatically get along great because immaturity on any side can break the relationship or kill it before it even starts but if both individuals are healthy and well developed it can be a very rewarding relationship, be it friendship or love.