ESFJ + ENTJ compatibility - relationships, dating

Unfortunately this match in most cases is not a very good one. While it is true that any two well rounded individuals can enjoy a healthy relationship, these two personality types are not naturally wired to understand each other. They are in most cases interested in very different things and react to the world in completely different ways.

Why this relationship isn’t the most ideal...

Let’s start with the cognitive functions. ENTJs have Te-Ni-Se-Fi (extroverted thinking, introverted intuition, extroverted sensing and introverted feeling) while ESFJs have Fe-Si-Ne-Ti. As you might have noticed, their functional order is completely different. Where the ENTJ has thinking, the ESFJ has feeling, where the ENTJ has intuition, the ESFJ has sensing and so on. The orientation of their functions is also opposite. ESFJs have extroverted feeling (Fe) and ENTJs have introverted feeling (Fi) and so on for the rest of the functions.

These two types can get along fine but they are predisposed to value completely different things; because the judging functions are exactly about that: what do you assign value to? ENTJs value knowledge and aptitude above all else. ESFJs don’t care so much about intellectualism. They care for harmony, tradition and security.

In the end I’d like to note again that if two people try hard they can have a good relationship no matter what their personality types are. If you’re in a relationship with an ESFJ (as friends, family, coworkers or lovers) don’t discard them just because they’re so different. Instead try to learn from them, because everything that annoys us about other people can teach us something about ourselves.