Skip to main content

ESTJ + ENTJ compatibility, relationships, dating

Short summary:

  • To communicate something to an ESTJ the best policy is action, not theories
  • Traditional ESTJs who are above an ENTJ in an organization can cause a lot of frustration to the ENTJ. Again the best policy is to have something to show for in real life, hard work or success gets their respect
  • As equal peers ENTJs and ESTJs usually get along fine if of similar interests
  • “It works” is a language both these personality types share
  • ENTJs are one of the first types to admire the ESTJs dependability, hard work and responsibility
An ENTJ - ESTJ relationship depends a lot on social roles and hierarchy mainly because of the ESTJ’s mentality so we’ll concentrate on that in this article.


One good way to differentiate an ENTJ from an ESTJ is to look at their attitude towards hierarchy, gender and social roles. The difference in approach is that ESTJs tend to be more respectful towards authority and people above them in hierarchy (bosses, parents, and older people) while ENTJs tend to naturally doubt and question any kind of authority. ESTJs want to defend the organization and the hierarchy (their natural need being security) while ENTJs are the ones who will jump to redefine it if they see it isn’t efficient (natural need for ingenuity).

The tendency of the ESTJ to act the way they are supposed to act in regards to their role in society dictates the way this relationship is going to go. They are very hierarchically aware.

On equal terms

As friends ENTJs and ESTJs usually get along fine, especially if they have common interests to talk about. As long as they are in a laid back setting, things shouldn’t be tough. In a work setting there might be some clashes but “it works” is a language both these types share.

When ESTJ is above hierarchically

ESTJs are usually not very receptive to new theories and off beat ideas, especially if they can’t see a real life application right away. This can frustrate an ENTJ beneath them to the boiling point. This same frustration can happen in “ESTJ parent – ENTJ child” relationships if the ESTJ expects the child to do what it’s told without giving a reason. NT children want things explained and they want to have a rational reason for doing everything. “Because I say so” is usually not a sufficient reason and the NT child will see this as an attack on their autonomy. But as long as the ENTJ child fulfills its duties and expectations (especially in school), the ESTJ will give them a little freedom.



When ENTJ is above hierarchically

In this situation things usually go more smoothly because ESTJs are generally more concentrated on getting the task done than on skeptically doubting authority. ENTJs like having ESTJ employees because they are very dependable, responsible and hard working. A parent – child relationship should also go smooth because ESTJ children are usually respectful towards elders and strive to fulfill their duties which an ENTJ parent will appreciate.

Gender roles

An ESTJ parent might not be very supportive towards an ENTJ female child if she decides to pursue a career or way of living that more fits a man’s role (in the ESTJs mind). Because most ESTJs are traditional they believe there’s a way a man and a woman should act and if it drives away from the beaten track ESTJs can get very critical.

However, there’s one thing ESTJs don’t argue with and that is success. They are best proven wrong by action and succeeding and will respect you once they see what you’ve accomplished. As ENTJs are somewhat dreamy like all Ns, the best policy is to talk about the “unrealistic options” with someone else or mention them to your ESTJ only when you’ve got something behind your back. ESTJs will shoot down your ideas and often with a good concrete reason you haven’t thought of. They live in the real world 99% of the time and although their critical attitude can be annoying to N types, they can really provide some good insight into concrete realization of your ideas so don’t disregard them just because they are critical.

Popular posts from this blog

ENFP + ENTJ relationships, compatibility, dating

Even though these two personality types have lots of differences, the ENTJ – ENFP match is in theory close to ideal . In this article I will try to explain why. ENTJs often have trouble connecting with people on an emotional level because they are not naturally in tune with other people’s feelings. They are too independent to get tied up into anyone’s emotional games. There aren’t many people ENTJs will completely open up to but ENFPs are one of the types that have the best chance of bringing the ENTJ out of its emotional shell. How do they do it? Many ENFPs believe they can do anything they set their mind to but for the purpose of this article let’s try to view it through MBTI theory and cognitive processes. This part might be a little boring or complicated but bare with me. ENTJs and ENFPs are both intuitive personalities and share the same judging functions: extroverted thinking (Te) and introverted feeling (Fi) - (ENTJ: Te Ni Se Fi , ENFP: Ne Fi Te Si). Even though th

The ENTJ female?

ENTJ women are logical, analytical, assertive, non-conformist, independent and sometimes brutally honest and if you think those traits are unusual for a woman, first of all you have prejudice, but also you're in for more surprises, because the ENTJ female is also statistically an unusual occurence. ENTJ women are the second most rare type, representing only 0.9% of all women, right after INTJ women who represent only 0.8% of the female population. ENTJ women, just like ENTJ men, highly value family and friends, so they are likely to be loyal. Their loyalty is not endless and uncoditional though and they have no problem cutting people out of their life if trust is repeatedly broken. How do I spot an ENTJ female? Well, apart from the description above, you might notice an ENTJ woman in male dominated professions like business or politics. A very large percentage of women in those two professions are either ENTJ or ESTJ. ENTJ women tend to dress elegantly but practically. In schoo

INFJ + ENTJ compatibility, relationships, dating

Even though it’s not an absolutely ideal matchup, the ENTJ – INFJ mix has a lot of potential. INFJ personality types are usually a bit more rational and logical than other feeling types (especially SF types) and that is a quality ENTJs are sure to admire. However, INFJs are also quite sensitive to criticism and conflict, which the ENTJ sees as a normal part of life, so obviously some adjustments will have to be made in order for this relationship to work. As friends... ENTJ – INFJ friendships usually function well. INFJs generally admire the ENTJs straightforwardness, intelligence and responsibility. In the relationship the INFJ takes on a role of an advisor for the ENTJ, providing thoughtful counsel when it’s needed. One possible stumbling block though is that ENTJs will not always be open to being influenced by the INFJ because they generally try to minimize the effect of emotions on their decision making process. Nonetheless, if the ENTJ learns to bite the tongue and avoid unn